Can you spot a kindred spirit?

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’
— C.S. Lewis

Someone gave me the most wonderful compliment the other day. We were meeting for the first time over a virtual coffee, and she said, "You're exactly how I expected you to be from the way you show up online."

I was utterly delighted, because it means I am allowing myself to be VISIBLE. I am allowing people to see me in all my wibbly-wobbly, wonky glory. Which, in turn, means that I am primed to ping people's Kindred Spirit Radars.

WTF is Kindred Spirit Radar (or KSR for short)?

You know when you stumble across someone new, in life or online, and there's a little 'ping' inside your brain when you realise they are one of your people? It might be something they say or a way they show up or just an intuitive hit, but you just know they are 'right' for you.

That, my friends, is KSR, and if you've practiced and got it nicely honed, it's very rarely wrong.

So, why does this matter?

Well, for us squidgy-hearted introverts, it matters A LOT, because the people who ping your KSR are the only people worth expending your precious social energy on. Those are the people you'll jump on a call with and immediately you're in the juicy depths talking and getting excited about the stuff that matters.

These are the people who you want in your community, on your client roster, and in your life, because they won't drain and deplete you. You may still be tired after peopling with them, but it'll be happy, inspired tired, rather than kill-me-now tired.

This is particularly important for those of us in service-based businesses where we spend a lot of time working with clients. For me, and I'm sure many of you will relate to this, finding my dream clients is less about demographics (those ideal customer avatar exercises never worked for me) and more about a sort of intangible energy. It's hard to describe, but you know it when you feel it. It comes off your right people in waves.

This is why 'visibility' is having a bit of moment right now (have you noticed?). The personal touch in business matters more now than ever before, and if you're not showing up and being unapologetically YOU, your right people won't even know that you're there, let alone that you're the right person for them.

You have to let your own unique wibbly-wobbly wonkiness out to play. Show it off so your people can fall in love with you, and they'll be queueing round the block to work with you.

This post was originally published in my Sunday Letter - click here to sign up and get community-building goodness direct to your inbox every week.